Yesterday, these awesome, wonderful ladies and I had a fantastic conversation on Twitter about blogging, commenting and relationships.

Here is part of it, if you feel so inclined and would  like to put your two cents in: https://twitter.com/#!/san_in_ca/status/194905956067446784

Molly even stopped in to say hello! (How cool is that?)

I then watched this video and had so much to say!

To be honest, when I started blogging, I felt really left out and let down. No one was commenting on my post, and I really didn’t feel like I had anything interesting to say. I was jealous of the relationships I would see forming online that I was not a part of. I soon came to see that you get out of it what you put in it.

For years, I have been reading blogs and commenting, hoping someone would comment back. Nothing. Still, I continued, feeling more and more let down and awful then the time before. As bloggers, I feel that we try to build relationships with people (via comments, Tiwtter, e-mail, ect.) in hopes that they would connect with us. Every time I wouldn’t get a reply via e-mail or comments or get ignored on Twitter, I took it as a personal attack on me, like there was something wrong with me. ‘Oh, this person must not like me, that’s why they aren’t commenting back’ was playing over and over in my head. I realized that I was using blogging as a way to validate my feelings and self worth. If no one commented, it meant that I must be doing something wrong and had to work harder to fix “it”. I thought that I didn’t care what people thought of me. Boy, was I wrong. But ya know what? There is nothing wrong with me (or you)!

During our conversation yesterday, Eleni made a great point: you can’t force relationships.

I realized that I was trying to force relationships with people who did not want to have a relationship with me. I was putting all of this undue stress and pressure on myself to be friends with people who just didn’t want to(this goes for real life, as well). As much as that hurt to realize, it had to be done. Not everyone wants to be your friend.

Instead, I started leaving comments when I had something to say instead of just leaving one for the sake of leaving one, I started commenting back on the comments left on my blog, I started engaging more on Twitter, I started e-mailing back. By concentrating with those who were present instead of those who weren’t, I was able to build relationships with people that will last a very long time.

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