VEDA starts tomorrow Tuesday, Jul 31 2012

VEDA, or Vlog Every Day in August, starts tomorrow. I can’t believe it’s been three years since we started this thing. It’s amazing to see how big this has grown (and keeps growing).

I was getting my YouTube channel ready and looking back over the past two years VEDA videos. Oh man, how times have changed. It’s so strange to see myself then compared to now, but it’s good. I realize how far I’ve come since then and how much better I am in front of the camera.

If you are doing this for the first time, it’s okay be nervous and/or scared, but TRUST ME, it does get better.  You get so much more out of it than you realize. It’s so awesome. I love doing VEDA because I love sitting in front of a camera talking to you, and I love hearing what you have to say. It gets easier being in front of the camera.

If you want to know more about VEDA, head on over to WeBlog,WeVlog and find out.

LOVE YOUR FACES!! See you tomorrow!!!!

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On blogging, relationships and connecting Wednesday, Apr 25 2012

Yesterday, these awesome, wonderful ladies and I had a fantastic conversation on Twitter about blogging, commenting and relationships.

Here is part of it, if you feel so inclined and would  like to put your two cents in: https://twitter.com/#!/san_in_ca/status/194905956067446784

Molly even stopped in to say hello! (How cool is that?)

I then watched this video and had so much to say!

To be honest, when I started blogging, I felt really left out and let down. No one was commenting on my post, and I really didn’t feel like I had anything interesting to say. I was jealous of the relationships I would see forming online that I was not a part of. I soon came to see that you get out of it what you put in it.

For years, I have been reading blogs and commenting, hoping someone would comment back. Nothing. Still, I continued, feeling more and more let down and awful then the time before. As bloggers, I feel that we try to build relationships with people (via comments, Tiwtter, e-mail, ect.) in hopes that they would connect with us. Every time I wouldn’t get a reply via e-mail or comments or get ignored on Twitter, I took it as a personal attack on me, like there was something wrong with me. ‘Oh, this person must not like me, that’s why they aren’t commenting back’ was playing over and over in my head. I realized that I was using blogging as a way to validate my feelings and self worth. If no one commented, it meant that I must be doing something wrong and had to work harder to fix “it”. I thought that I didn’t care what people thought of me. Boy, was I wrong. But ya know what? There is nothing wrong with me (or you)!

During our conversation yesterday, Eleni made a great point: you can’t force relationships.

I realized that I was trying to force relationships with people who did not want to have a relationship with me. I was putting all of this undue stress and pressure on myself to be friends with people who just didn’t want to(this goes for real life, as well). As much as that hurt to realize, it had to be done. Not everyone wants to be your friend.

Instead, I started leaving comments when I had something to say instead of just leaving one for the sake of leaving one, I started commenting back on the comments left on my blog, I started engaging more on Twitter, I started e-mailing back. By concentrating with those who were present instead of those who weren’t, I was able to build relationships with people that will last a very long time.

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Wine and Love v33 Thursday, Apr 12 2012

Since Nora is no longer hosting Wine and Love (she decided to stop after 52 weeks), Suki has taken on the task of hosting! If you are new to the game, head on over to her blog and check it out!!

W(h)ine:

* Whatever is on my thumb isn’t going away fast enough, and I think it’s going to leave a scar. /sadface

Love:

* VEDApril 2012 is in full swing! Check out my latest video here!!

* Having amazing conversations with friends who are too far away to hug

* Got this (European Deep Dark Drinking Chocolate) in our Easter basket from PJ parents!! It’s soooo good! Makes amazing hot chocolate! I really want to try all of them! We also received some coffee that I can’t wait to try!!

* Easter was awesome!!

* Belldance Gala 2012 session started this week! Excited that we have music for Advanced and Tribal all picked out! Can’t wait to see what our second number for troupe is!!

* Happy that Suki is continuing to host Wine and Love!

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Changes Monday, Dec 5 2011

I guess I should get something out the way first. In case you don’t know, I no longer have a job. Two weeks ago, I started at a Dr.’s office as the administrative assistant. I thought it was going to be a stable position. A job! I was called into the office this past Friday afternoon and told that it just wasn’t working out and she felt, in the long run, I wouldn’t be able to handle the front on my own. It was only two weeks. To be honest, I didn’t really enjoy the job. I just didn’t want to let anyone down. There was very little training (I left still not knowing how to make an appointment), but I went and did I best I could. I gave it a shot. I know that she did what she felt was right. That is okay. It just really makes me wonder, though. I’ve lost three jobs this year. That really does something to a persons head. I just can’t help but think that there is something wrong with me. Am I that bad of a person that people don’t want me? I know I am being silly but still. I just can’t help but wonder.

Now that the job news is out of the way, on to something more awesome.
I am part of another amazing project. Slated to begin next year, 12 Changes in 2012 was set in motion by these amazing ladies: Stephany and Katherine. The basic concept is making little changes over times helps them stick. Doing something for a month helps it become habit then you add something else to it, making that become habit. You have this awesome support group to help when you need encouragement and support. We have 4 weeks until 2012. We have to come up with about 9 things (more if you can) that you want to change in 2012.
Here is my list (so far):
1. Exercise for an hour (or more) a day with a designated rest day
2. Reduce/eliminate processed sugar from my diet
3. Meditate for a least 15 minutes a day
4. Read for 30 min.-1 hr. a day
5. Eat healthier
6. Blog 2-3 times a week
7. Hand write more letters
8. Paint my nails
9. Wash my face every night
10. Clean the house once a week
11. Organize my mess
12. Engage in my life more

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It’s the #vodkagirls blog swap….Carolina here!! Monday, Nov 21 2011

Hey y’all!!! Today, I am not here. It’s Vodka Girls Blog Swap. Today, y’all get to read a lovely post by the most amazing Carolina!! She is amazing!! Please enjoy her wonderful post.

For a long time I focused of the “internet” part of internet friendships. In fact, it took me a long time to get over it.

For some reason I was so caught up in the internet of it – what I somehow interpreted as fake. False. Not real.

Not like actual friends.

I treated it as if it were actual friends’ long removed and awkward cousin.

I would like to say that the moment I became friends with her, that it all changed.

But I can’t say that.

I would like to say that the moment I met the Husb, that it all changed.

But I can’t say that either.

You know the moment it changed for me?

Three months ago.

When I met her. And her. And her. And her. And her. And most recently, her. And all of the people that fill my Twitter stream and my heart.

It changed because I finally took a step back, and looked at what internet friendships meant; what they really were.

And you know what?

They’re friendships. Plain and simple.

The only difference is that now instead of being limited to my small corner of the world, I’m opened up to the entire world. Opened up to people I might otherwise never bump into. Might otherwise never meet.

And for that, I’m a special kind of grateful. The kind of grateful I imagine people were the moment they learned what electricity was and had it in their homes. Because honestly, these friendships light up my life.

They make my life richer and better and stronger and more worthwhile.

So I no longer uncomfortably focus on the “internet” part of internet friendships.

Instead, I’m grateful. To the point of tears in my eyes and warmth in my heart.

Thank you for changing my world – for lighting it up.

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Frogiveness and what comes with it Tuesday, Sep 20 2011

Last week was rough all around. There were tears and intense talks. Goodbyes.

Saturday night, we had a troupe performance in Opelousas. This past weekend was huge for me. I forgave this weekend. It had been a year since I has seen her. She use to dance with us. I use to consider her a very good friend. Then stuff happened and the truth came out. Needless to say, we aren’t friends anymore. I carried a lot of hurt and hate in my heart for her. Then it happened. I was watching her dance and could tell that she was happy and this feeling of peace came over me. I also forgave someone who hurt me recently who is no longer a friend of mine. I don’t have to be friends with them, I don’t have to like them, I don’t have to be okay with what they have done, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t carry this hate around inside. I know that we will probably never be friends again, and I am okay with that. I feel so much better, now, though.

I cried most of the day Sunday. I cried for me, I cried for them. It was a cry of relief, of letting go, of loss.

Part of me scared that I won’t be able to let go. I am trying though.

Here’s looking to a better version of myself, one who loves to the fullest and lives an authentic life.

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Wine and Love v14 Thursday, Aug 18 2011

Wine and Love time!!! Hosted by Nora! You should participate and link up.

Wine:

* Not enough sleep- probably won’t get sleep until this wekend

* Realizing that a friendship I thought was BFF status really isn’t, but I’m really okay with that- there is no hate or hard feelings toward this person in my heart; my heart is lite and open and feeling a lot better than it has in a long time

* Not enough PJ time

* Worrying about if what I am doing job wise is really right for me

Love:

* Being able to help out a friend when she really needed it <3

* Play WoW with PJ and Elaine….excited for this!! It had a negative connotation to it for a very long time. I had forgotten that it could be fun. So glad I am taking it back. It’s like learning a new language. So much fun!

* Making new friends through VEDA; they make me want to hug my computer….like all the time

* I cut PJ hair for the first time; thought I was nervous, I think I did a good job. I think it came out good and he liked it. I do have some work to do but it will get better.

What’s on your Wine and Love list this week?

 

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Communication with a side of inspiration Wednesday, Aug 10 2011

These last few days have been rough. All I can say is that communication is the key. It really is. It would not have gotten better without open and honest communication. Yesterday was the first time in a very long time that I smiled and laughed with people I love.

Communication is so important. I cannot stress that enough. We went from being defensive and hurt to being open and honest. I am very lucky to have people in my life that allow me express how I feel. That is something I am working on. It is not always easy for me. I am

Watching VEDA videos, it really touches me heart that people are opening up they way they are. I find y’all amazing and inspiring.I love your faces so much.

Although it is not easy for me, I am striving to be better at communication. I am striving to be a better me.

Thank you for inspiring me to be better.

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