I write about this a lot but it is something that I struggle with. My journey with weight loss began when I was little. I watched my mom struggle with weight my whole life, including now. She would diet and lose a lot of weight only to put it back on again. She would eat whatever my sister and I were eating. She use to work at an ice cream shop when we were little so we has ice cream cakes for birthdays and special occasions. She loves to bake and makes sweets. There was never a shortage of sweets in our house growing up. There still isn’t, and my sister and I no longer live there. A few years ago, my mom had gastric bypass surgery. It was really hard to watch her go through that. The reason she said she had the surgery was because she just couldn’t lose the weight, no matter what she did. To me, it seems that she is not as happy today than before she had the surgery. She seems to hurt all the time. It’s really hard for me to watch and not be able to do anything.

My dad was in Army for about 10 years. He was fit. Ran all the time, ate right, the whole nine. He would wear those sweat suits to go running in. Those things are just nasty lol. I remember him coming home from however many mile runs just drenched in sweat. His job in the Army was to work on thanks. One day he was getting off of one and hurt his back. Long story short, he has surgery which messed him up even more and now is 100 percent medically discharged from the military. He has been through a lot since then. He can’t do even half of what he use to do. He’s had multiple back surgeries and might have to have both of his knees replaced (please pray that doesn’t happen). He sits in his recliner all day and watches TV or plays on the computer. It makes me sad to know that he is the way is because of the Army.

Now enter me. I was the chubby kid growing up. In the third grade, my class had this fun day and one of our activities was a balloon pop race. It was my turn. I grab the balloon from the person running full speed at me. I take off, racing to the chair at the end of the room. I get down there, put the balloon on the chair and proceed to sit on it. Okay, that didn’t work. I them take to jumping up and down on it. That is when it happened. Some stupid little boy yelled “Use your big butt”. I popped the balloon but was never the same after that. In the fifth grade, my nickname was ‘thunder thighs’. It just continued from there. I really do enjoy working out and eating healthy, ya know, stuff that’s good for you. This past Lent, my friend and I decided to go on the South Beach diet. Even though the first few weeks were hard (no sugar, no carbs), I really did enjoy it. I liked learning how to eat healthy again. I enjoyed working out every day. Then Easter hit. And things went downhill. I look at myself in the mirror and see all the weight I lost, put back on and then some. I work an office job so that means I sit down a lot. I don’t move as much as I use too. I wish there was some way that I could get my butt out of bed at 4:30 in the morning to go exercise. I don’t like exercising in the evening (never did, I’m a morning person). I just want to get back to me and not this blob of a human being.

Any advice? Suggestions? How do you deal with health and fitness?

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